A conversation between Merry and Pippin on the way to the Prancing Pony (with slight comments from various other members of the traveling party)

Merry: Pippin?

Pippin: Yes Merry, what is it?

Merry: Oh nothing. I was just trying to decide how far away from me you are. I can't quite make out your form.

Pippin: Yeah, it's dark. How long have we been traveling?

Merry: Oh, I dunno. A while that's for sure. We left Tom Bombadil's house at sunrise.

Pippin: A whole day. My feet are kinda sore.

Samwise: And I forgot my bloody shoes...

Pippin: What's that Sam?

Samwise: Oh nothing.

Merry: I wonder if this rain will ever let up!

Pippin: I would have much rather preferred to stay at Tom's house. Great food, he had. And strong ale as old as time itself! A hobbit's dream, I'd say!

Merry: Pippin, you do know that the ale actually was as old as time...since Tom was too...right?

Pippin: What? Tom looked a bit young....

(pause)

Merry: You're telling me...What are you telling me?

Pippin: I must have missed the part where he told us that he was as old as time.

Merry: How could you miss that? It was in all his songs and stuff!

Pippin: Hey! That explains how he knew all those old stories! I was wondering about that!!

Merry:........

Frodo: Pippin, how much of the time are you actually listening to what we're saying?

Pippin: What?

Frodo: ...wow...

Pipping: No really, what? What did I miss?

Merry: Let's just walk in silence, okay?

Pippin: Well, okay.

(long pause)

Pippin: That River Daughter was very pretty hot! Tom must have a hard time deciding which men to let court his daughter. She didn't seem very open to flattery. I asked her out but she wasn't very perseptive to the idea.

(another pause, shorter)

Merry (exasperated): Pippin, you can't be serious!

Pippin: What? Do you think that she's too good for me or something?

Merry: No, you Ork! She wasn't Tom's daughter!

Pippin: What? What do you mean?

Samwise: Oh for cryin out loud!

Merry: You dunse! River Daughter was Tom's wife!

Pippin: What??...Well that explains a lot! And it makes me feel better.

Merry: Makes you feel better? What do you mean?

Pippin: Well, that obviously doesn't mean that she wasn't attracted to me. It just means that she was already married.

Frodo: I'll never be able to show myself anywhere near Tom again!

Merry: It makes me feel like an oaf's commpanion is what!

Samwise: Haven't you heard? It's been confermed...he truly is the son of an oaf.

Pippin: Hey! And she wasn't directly connected to my family anyway!

Merry: *sigh* This is going to be a REALLY long trip.

Samwise: And they told me it was a vacation...HA!

Pippin: Well I'm enjoying myself! Maybe you guys could get a little more on the bright side.

Frodo: Pippin...I just don't understand how you could not get that they were married. I mean, are you seriously never listening?

Merry: yes.

Samwise: yes.

Pippin: no!

Pippin: Okay, now I agree with Merry. Let's just walk in silence. I've had enough.

Merry: 'Bout time.

Samwise: What's that up ahead?

Merry: I really can't see anything at this moment.

Frodo: Neither can I. How can you, Sam?

Samwise: Well, It's a big sign with flashing lights that says, "Brandywine Movie Theaters". Come on, don't tell me you guys can't see that.

Merry: Oh, now I see.

Pippin: Ouch! Hey, Merry, watch your step!

Merry: Sorry.

(pause)

Pippin: Well, should we go see a movie? I mean, what else is there that we have to do? We're on a vacation, right? Right guys?

(pause)

Pippin: Guys?